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by R. L. Seasoning
When I sat down with Dr. Spectacles to discuss this curious collection of Haiku, I was promptly frisked by Butler (his butler). This mild affront to my dignity was forecasted by nothing aside from the deft snapping of the Doctor’s fingers upon my mere mentioning of the word “Haiku”. In an instant I found myself separated from all of my writing materials, not to mention the Dictaphone I had concealed in my boot. Of course, this made any further first-hand insight into the subject impossible, as Dr. Spectacles proceeded to speak in nothing but Japanese for the brief remainder of my stay.
“I doubt he knows even a word of Japanese.” Said Mister Miner to me when I caught up with him at his house some time later.
“Well,” I shrugged, “I’m not entirely certain of that. It was very convincing—he even said ‘Sayonara’ as I was leaving, but Butler had frisked me and shut off my Dictaphone before we had gotten started, so there is no way to verify the rest.”
“I think just about the whole world knows what ‘sayonara’ means.” asserted Mister Miner.
“I suppose.” I conceded.
“Well,” he continued, “do you know any other words in Japanese?”
“Konichi wa, origatu, um—”
“You forgot ‘Haiku,’” he said, smiling, “but, did you hear him use either of those words while you were over there?” he asked.
“No.” I answered.
“Then there is still a good chance you know more Japanese than he does—are you really letting him get away with searching you?”
Most of our afternoon’s discussion was focused on other affairs. I did, however, come out of it with three insightful morsels that I feel are pertinent here. First, Mister Miner brought to my attention that to his knowledge Dr. Spectacles had only begun writing Haiku after Mister Miner had shown him his selection. Second, I was told the likely reason Dr. Spectacles had included six Haiku among his submission of poems was most likely for the express purpose of “one upping” Mister Miner in including five. And third, Mister Miner told me that he had found the words “ ‘Sabotage Haiku’” written on a piece of scrap paper in the same cryptic backwards handwriting Dr. Spectacles has been known to employ for things “requiring utmost subterfuge”.
It is only on the basis of this admittedly limited set of insight that I move forward. Given my experience in observing Mister Miner’s straightforward and unparanoid nature, I am forced to take his input at face value. I only pray that my ignorance of the respectable Japanese tongue has not left my subsequent analyses corrupt and incomplete.
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Now, as is equally plain in his other Haiku, Dr. Spectacles adheres to the same guidelines as those followed by Mister Miner. That is, he follows the structure of three unrhymed lines in a syllabic sequence of five-seven-five (see “Commentary of the Haiku of Mister Miner” for more details).
In contrast to Dr. Spectacles’ other Haiku, “Ebony, Yellow” is actually not necessarily what I would classify “Sabotage Haiku”. In fact, aside from that it breaks from the Haiku tradition of containing a seasonal reference (a tradition that even Mister Miner usually breaks), it is actually quite a lovely example of the art form.
Ostensibly, we see two different living beings contrasted with one another via their dissimilarities in colour, name and locomotion respectively. If the poem is written out in such a way that the beginning words of each line are read first, followed by the second words of each line, what we are left with is “Ebony salamander slithering, yellow butterfly flying”. It is no longer a Haiku, but the image is nonetheless quite pretty.
What is the meaning of this contrast Dr. Spectacles is attempting to establish in these three lines between these two creatures? The salamander derives its name from a conjunction of two Persian words meaning “fire within”. This origin most likely has its roots in the salamander’s tendency toward lodging in rotted logs. After these logs have been placed on a fire, if a salamander is inside it will leap for freedom, thus giving the impression that the mystic fire had spawned them itself. In this sense, the salamander would represent both ebony and yellow insofar as it is black and leaping from flames. This is not to mention that the spotted salamander (Ambystoma maculatum) is usually black with yellow spots. However, I think it is quite clear that were I to get into the variety of butterflies that have both black and yellow markings, not to mention the multiplicity of shades found in their associated cocoons, caterpillars, etc., I would find myself more fully immersed in a tangent.
The only reasonable way to view this Haiku is in the more Simpleist method with which I began. “Ebony, Yellow” is a simple, elegant, lovely Haiku. “Ebony, Yellow” is an example of the great contribution Dr. Spectacles could have made to the art form of Haiku. Sadly, as will be seen, for the remainder of his Haiku it appears his aim had not been that of constructiveness, but rather that of sabotage.
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I am not prepared to endow this poem with any meaning transcendental to its mere listing of several unphonetic words within a Haiku framework. This is what I understand to be a prime example of the “Sabotage Haiku” form. It does, however, call into question the disparity between the ways in which English words are spelled and how they are to be pronounced. Condemning the English language may too may be deemed a form of sabotage, however I believe it is done with some measure of respectability in contrast with his unmerited lunges toward the sanctified Japanese art form of Haiku. For more information on the former subject I would highly recommend Bill Bryson’s book entitled The Mother Tongue: English and How It Got that Way.
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Yet another “Sabotage Haiku”, “His Book on Living” is utter nonsense. Presumably this fictitious “book on living” had been written in such a way that it required explanation, and being published after the death of the only person who could have provided such an explanation (however fictitious that person may have been), it may never therefore be understood. The poem essentially cancels out everything it says and it pains me to concede that given the combination of its economic articulation paired with its adherence to the rigid syllabic parameters of Haiku, I must reluctantly acknowledge its astounding genius, wit and darkly ironic perspective on life.
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I see little literary value in this poem and will not give Dr. Spectacles the satisfaction of rooting through the annals of history and written tradition in search of missing button references and their impacts on history. Although it is a sabotage piece, I must again concede its economy of words and comment on an all too common occurrence in everyday life.
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One cannot help but agree with the message of this poem. It is also Dr. Spectacles’ only Haiku utilizing its subject as the title, rather than the first line (the method by which we have come to refer to most of Emily Dickenson’s poems). The central problem with “Jam” is that it employs Simpleism in a way that intentionally fails to showcase its adeptness in stimulating emotion and summoning ideals of love, beauty and truth via direct concrete language. “Jam” is not just an attempt to sabotage Haiku, but also an affront to Simpleism. It pains me that I must come down so harshly on such a cute little poem, but I know precisely what Dr. Spectacles was up to when he wrote “Jam” and frankly, it stinks.
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Firstly, I must intimate that this Haiku can only be partially autobiographic, because were Dr. Spectacles to have but a single complaint I would consider myself fortunate. Of course, to give him credit, most of the complaints he has voiced in my direction centre on the same complaints covered by this Haiku (ie. on one of our first meetings he looked mournfully up to the ceiling, lamenting, “Where are you now Boswell1?”). This, however, is excluding all of that which I have overheard him pummeling into Butler, or muse over bitterly to himself regarding Mister Miner, his work, or the universe. In all fairness, this piece may be a bit dismissive and uncommonly brash, but it is nonetheless a good Haiku, albeit of the “Sabotage” variety.
I can only pray that this model does not catch on; mostly because it would be unhealthy for his ego. In all truth, this “Sabotage Haiku” form has grown on me. In fact, they probably do more to promote Haiku than “Sabotage” them anyway. Mister Miner shows us, however, that it is still more effective when the art form is taken seriously. Dr. Spectacles gives us five “Sabotage Haiku” and I say five is enough!