Editing 2025-01-20 Meeting

Speakers Bureau Request When: Monday, 20 January, 10:00AM Host: Austin Oswald as799581@dal.ca Assistant Professor School of Health and Human Performance Dalhousie University Location: Tupper Building, 10th Floor, Dalhousie Topic: Queer Perspectives on Aging [https://gay.hfxns.org/pics/ElderBerries/2025-01-20_SpeakersBureau.jpg Photo here] ===Speakers=== # Stephanie Brown # Allison Brewer # Christopher Terriak # Eric Oass On Standby # Barend (moi-meme) # Dan MacKay ===Qs=== '''What would you like to tell younger people about aging?''' * Alison: parts of my body don't work as well as they used to * Eric: it's work to get out and socializing * Steph: it's important to get out, that makes me feel good. I use computers, but even I have trouble with fast advancing technology. * Chris: older people seem to be more in the closet. I have to rememeber that some time ago I was in the closet - in Labrador. I had no ideas what it meant by saying being in the closet. '''How do you deal with stigma or false beliefs from within the queer community?''' * Eric: I don't believe in stigma: for example, "Queer" is hurtful for some people but I spent lots of time in New York when we repatriated the word. I had to learn about pronouns but I'm very happy we're here now. * Steph: When I was growing up there was no stigma, there were no distinctions between gay and straight and black and white. When I get deadnamed: hey, I've been in bed with a girl, and called her by my ex's name. You should practice not being upset, when the person apologizes. When I tell stories about my past life, do I use "Stephanie" or do I use "Steve" ?? Eventually you work through that. * Allison: the word "lesbian" had such a stigma. We were gay. Then we decided to carve out our own identity. It seems like "Queer" is a watering down of my existence as a lesbian. '''What has a healtcare professional done to make you comfortable? What have they done to make you NOT comfortable?''' * Chris: Hospitals really have gone out of their way to make us comfortble. That being said, when I was in a hospital I'd try to get out as soon as possible. I think that people are doing their jobs as well as possible - that being said, there are a few bad people. * Allison: I'm really a boy; I'm really a tomboy. But then, these things started to grow on my chest. In 2020 I was thinking of asking for gender affirming surgery and was really afraid of being laughed at - but I wasn't. * Eric: There's a continuum which goes from outright homophobia to total acceptance. It's up to you as healthcare providers to watch out for that. I had a medical emergency and went to the hospital wearing a rainbow logo hat, and the nurse maybe from a homophobic culture, asked me questions that were totally irrelevant to that; she was dismissive, and started asking personal quesions - are you married, do you have kids? blatanty trying to figure out if I was gay or not. '''What do you think of Successful Aging? What problems do you think it has?''' * Chris: I don't want to sound like I'm a victim. But. I grew up as an impoverished Inuit guy with an alcoholic background.I think I'm doing well to be 61 as healthy as I am. * Stephanie: My parents were control freaks. I was thrown out of the house at age 18 because I had long hair. My dad was a prison officer. I married an abusive woman, got out of that relationship eventually and in and out of work because they wanted you to be totally obedient - and I wasn't. I needed therapy - and that cost money, and I had none. So I worked on myself to change myself, and over the years I've done a 180 on myself. I do get depressed or down around Christmas time because I spend it by myself. As soon as a doctor said, "There's a program for you," I felt better about myself. Physically I'm very healthy - I'm lucky that way. * Allison: About that term: "Positive aging": I haven't aged since I was 21. None of us have. (although I'm 70 years old.) I don't feel like "Positive Aging" applies to me. '''What have you done to prepare for aging?''' * Stephanie: I plan to go to the balcony and jump off. I work as an accountnta, and I'll do that until I'm six-foot-under. I got off the roundabout of having to buy the latest and greatest. * Dan: I live in a multi generational house - someone 15 years older than I,someone 20 years younger. * Allison: my mom lives in a multi storey house and I think getting around that gives her lots of exercise; I plan to try to do that too - moving around, doing stairs. * Eric: Get a dog, for the same thing - it gets you out meeting people and getting exercise. '''Reflections from the students''' * Always stay open to new things that can be fun. * Everyone's story is different. You can't make assumptions based on what you think someone looks like or talks like. * Successful aging requires resources - money. Not everyone can do it; you need money and community. * Part of our jobs will need to help with navigation. * Chris: Devices are quite difficult for older people. * Thank you for coming in, I'm going to take this into consideration * Mentioning that you can be in control of your aging - some parts, sometimes anyway. You're the one who decides if you're going out today. * It's encouraging to hear that the healthcare system is doing well. We often focus on the negatives and it's good to hear the good parts. * It's good to hear that you can physically age but you're mentally young. * It's great to hear you speaking assertively and not apologetically.

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