2020-05-10 Meeting

Sunday, May 10, 2020 Program: Grieving Workshop

Interactive Grief Workshop with Kevin Mason

Kevin writes: Grief is an emotional response to loss. We all experience losses in many forms. The last number of weeks/months have been very difficult for many of us. I would like to give some information about grief in a relaxed forum. Information that may be helpful in understanding grief and grief recovery. I hope that we can have an interactive discussion.

https://us02web.zoom.us/j/545219203?pwd=VzR6czlYa1UrNW5aQmt2UEQ5aERjdz09

Dial by your location +1 647 374 4685 Meeting ID: 545 219 203 Password: 505117

Present: Francis Young, Dan (notes), Judy Crump, Kevin Mason, Barend, Colin Pye, Doug Fevens, Greg Estabrooks, Lynn Murphy, Anita, Pauline, Marion Dimock.

Grief is a your emotional response to loss, to any loss.

How long does it take? Depends on the relationship you had with the person. When that person dies, the relationship you had with them freezes at that point. If the relationship wasn't great - there's no chance to improve it at that point.

If you are with someone who had a loved one died, you can ask

• what happened? It asks you to tell me the story.
• how did you find out? the person will want to tell that story. as you tell the story over and over, the story cements into place.
• they want you to hear where they are and how they're feeling
• you need to talk and talk and talk and talk.

Lynn: we're also experiencing the loss of someone they loved to alzheimer's - they're still there but they don't know you any more, you can't look after them. That's a kind of grief that's there before they've died.

It's very hard to go to visit someone who doesn't remember you any more.

In the early days all you remember are the things that didn't go well or wasn't done right in the last few days before the death.

Some people equate healing from grief with forgetting the person. That is not the way it works. You can heal and still remember the person.

unhelpful things

• it gets better
• he's in a better place

Q: Is doing a *thing* in memorial of the person helpful? Absolutely - as long as it doesn't become a shrine that consumes a huge amount of your day.

You will notice extremely frequent ups and downs... and over time those get spread out more and more.

Your wishes re: the visitation: the visitation is not for you, you're dead. It's for your family.

Lynn: Should we get more into the political aspect of the very poor situation at long-term care? Should we consider becoming active in monitoring long-term care?

DAN will send the video from Colin to Kevin https://youtu.be/jRltbhRO-sY